Wednesday, June 18, 2014

That Moment When Everything Changes

On May 7th, 2014, we found out we are expecting!
Have you ever had one of those moments? That moment when you come face-to-face with fears you didn't know you had? I had a moment today. Right now, inside of me, God is growing a baby. As I type this, there is a tiny soul in there that is brand-new. Quicker than I can imagine, I'll be experiencing labor pains for the first time, and then finally (hopefully) holding this little miracle in my arms. It's almost overwhelming to think about, and I couldn't be more excited about welcoming this little Sara-Garrett hybrid into our lives. Yet today I realized something that startled me to the point of taking my breath away: Everything is about to change.

With all my heart, I believe the changes that are going to take place are good. But I now realize that we will have to press pause on some of life's current treasures when this baby arrives. Right now, Garrett can text, call, or walk in the door, and I drop whatever I am doing to give him my full attention (not because he expects it, but because I love him that much). We can work on house projects at any hour of the day without having to plan around naps or feedings (except ours). We can snuggle in front of the TV at the end of the day and watch our favorite shows together. We can go on walks together whenever we want. We can go to dinner at whatever restaurant suits us, on whatever day is most convenient for us. I can have Garrett all to myself when he's home, and our quality time is uninterrupted. It won't be like this - at least not all the time - when there are three of us in the house.

I think these changes are one reason why so many couples wait for years and years to have children. A routine gets established, they get comfortable with each other and with their life together, and the thought of anything (no matter how wonderful) interfering with their current level of happiness is unpleasant to them. And before you ask, yes; there is a part of me that wants to hold on to the way things are right now. However, when I think about all that will change, I can't stop with the things I don't want to change. That's what the enemy wants, and it leads to fear. Rather, I can - and should - focus on all of the good changes that are in store for us!

After my five seconds of panic were over, I realized there were far more things that Garrett and I will be gaining. Yes, I can give my husband all of my attention right now. But when this little one busts onto the scene, Garrett will be greeted by not one, but TWO people who are excited to see him. As our child grows, we will both get to enjoy watching him or her run outside when "Daddy" gets home to jump into his arms and give him a hug. I can answer his texts and calls right away now, but soon he'll get pictures and videos of the baby making faces, smiling, and laughing that will brighten even his stormiest day. He'll hear the babbling and cooing in the background of our phone calls, and yes, probably lots of crying and screaming as well (from the baby and possibly me). We can work on house projects whenever right now, but this baby will ensure that we keep our priorities in check. People matter more than houses. Time with family will always be more important than time spent on a project (whether mine or Garrett's). While we can snuggle, just the two of us, in front of the TV now, we'll have a little munchkin with us soon who will laugh at things we didn't know were supposed to be funny (but suddenly will be to us). We may not always be able to go on walks whenever we want, but they will become mandatory to burn off our child's energy before bedtime, and we'll all be healthier for it. We can go to dinner at nice restaurants if we want to now, but soon we'll get to the experience the joy (albeit, a challenging one) of teaching our child how to behave in public. I won't get Garrett all to myself as much as I would like, but it will make what time we do get together even more special and sacred.

Though I believe parenting will be the greatest challenge Garrett and I have ever faced together, I also believe it will be the most wonderful thing we'll ever experience as a couple. Sure, there will be days when the baby rips off their diaper and flings dark matter all over the place. But there will also be days when they can't contain their wonder or excitement over seeing a bug, plant, or rock for the first time. There will be scrapes, maybe even broken bones (though I hope that doesn't happen), but there will also be lots of hugs and kisses, laughter, late night talks about how there aren't any monsters in the shadows of their room, tickle fights, and a million other precious moments that - when it comes down to it - I know we would never trade anything for. There will be moments when it seems like our child is an absolute angel, and then probably many more moments when they act like the spawn of Satan.

This is the stuff of life.

Think about it: God goes through all of these things with us every second of every day, and embarking on this journey together will give my sweet husband and I a greater understanding of His glorious and unimaginable love. We may be too big to throw nasty diapers around, but we still throw our nasty words around. We struggle greatly with selfishness every day, but I sense that God is about to prune that ugly branch in our lives with the addition of this precious one. I'm certain that the moment everything changes will be a happy one, and the changes will be for the better. What God specifically has in store for us, I don't know yet; but in the words of Peter Pan: "To live would be an awfully big adventure." And in the words of Bilbo Baggins, "I think I'm quite ready for another adventure."

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"Iron sharpens Iron, and one man sharpens another." -Proverbs 27:17

I really appreciate the fact that you've taken time out of your busy life to read my post today. If you have any thoughts about this entry, please feel free to leave a comment! Your perspective is valuable to me, and I would love to see what you have to say. Please keep all comments respectful and mature - we can disagree without behaving foolishly. Any comments that are abusive or contain inappropriate language will be removed. Have a wonderful day!